What should you do when anger starts to feel like your default #emotion?
Anger is a tricky emotion. It’s agitating and unsettling. For this reason, among others, the great #Buddhist teachers encouraged us to be suspicious of anger, investigating how it might distort a more accurate view of things.
And while I appreciate just how much we suffer when anger doesn’t seem to budge, I’ve also come to understand its important functions. When we’ve been badly hurt, or have watched someone else get badly hurt, anger can easily arise. In this way, it’s a signal that something important has happened and pain is lurking.
What’s harder to notice is that being angry feels safer than being in pain. For this reason, initial spikes of anger on the heels of any painful experience can grow powerful, making it tough to touch into the pain beneath the surface. This is anger’s protective function. It offers a sense of having a needed shield, both from others, and from the vulnerability of suffering.
So while I have come to respect the Buddhist suggestion that anger is an emotion that requires careful examination, I also believe it deserves respect and patience. The question is, how to respect its function without getting stuck there? No one wants to feel like they’re a volcano ready to blow. But if we can stand the heat and watch the embers settle from a safe distance, eventually we’ll see the more tender signs of suffering in need of care.
This is the trick with #anger – to let it be, without inflaming it. And to stay curious about what it’s defending.
When Anger Feels Like Your Default Emotion
