The question is: how to tolerate the tension between current circumstances and the longing for conditions that support an inner well-being we can trust.
For many of us, the wish for happiness brings an unexpected stress response.
A part can come forward sounding alarm signals, as if to say: “Don’t wait for the good to happen! You’ll only suffer yet more disappointment.”
This is an understandable protective response, especially if you’ve survived trauma. The expectation that more suffering is around the corner is a way to feel prepared and to ward off the shock of unexpected loss or betrayal.
I appreciate the parts of us that stand guard, offering needed feelings of protection.
But deep within the mind is also a part that longs to feel truly free, to live meaningfully, with easy access to joy, and friends and family that offer care, compassion, and solidarity.
The challenge, as I see it, is to tack back and forth between these different states of mind without allowing protective impulses to push out the longing for that well-being that is simply part of the human condition.
No one wants to suffer, and everyone wants a heads up when suffering is likely. Yet, this need for safety exists in partnership with the shared need to live out our capacity for flourishing.
As we continue to navigate a world impacted by illness, war, interpersonal strife, and communal disruption, I support you in finding your own place of manageable tension between the need for happiness and freedom from suffering.
This is a tension that may be generative, offering you and others, the balance between easeful well-being and the readiness for life’s challenges that endows this human journey with integrity and meaning.
Hoping for Well-Being Comes with Risk
