Depression affects us all at some point. And yet, it can feel like we’re completely alone when depressed.
Sustaining feelings of connection, or even imagining that other people might care and want to help, is tough when depression takes hold. Often, there’s a sense of radical aloneness and with it, increased hopelessness.
Something I’ve come to appreciate about the psychoanalytic perspective, is its appreciation for the complexity of our emotional life. We get depressed for all sorts of understandable reasons. Disappointments, losses, feelings of deficiency, and squelched anger, are common contributors. But in this pain-averse culture so many of us inhabit, there’s often a feeling that we should be able to “get over” our difficulties before we understand them or even feel them fully.
This struggle to let life press in on us, to feel it, can worsen depression. The feeling of being weighed down is often an indicator that there’s something we’re needing to turn towards. But it might be too much to face into alone. This is where therapy can come in, a way to be accompanied as we turn toward the very experiences that may have overwhelmed us.
When we’re able to risk the direct experience of whatever we’ve been holding at bay, the pressure lifts. It might hurt, you might feel all sorts of things – longing, despair, rage – but probably, the depression will lift. This is what the psyche wants – room for the truth of what we feel and live through.
Healing Process for Depression
