When loneliness bears down on us, it’s possible that we’ve become too isolated.
During Covid, this was a serious pitfall. And if that’s so, it might help to reflect on where you can, and to whom you can turn for warm and respectful companionship.
A sense of belonging is a basic human need. And, when loneliness becomes an intractable condition, it’s also possible that some inner part of us has become too sequestered. The psyche doesn’t like to feel split apart, with certain parts of who we are pushed underground, while other parts grow too dominant.
In much the same way we don’t like the interpersonal experience of one person running the show and the other pushed into the shadows, the psyche also suffers this imbalance.
Loneliness can sometimes be a helpful indicator that we’re struggling to bring all parts of who we are to the proverbial dinner table.
If you have parts of your personality that were not warmly welcome in your family, it can become a strong protective habit to keep these seemingly verboten parts hidden from view.
But interestingly, it stirs feelings of loneliness, as if someone we’ve needed has gone away.
It might be interesting to muse on whether or not this rings true for you. Are there playful and irreverent parts, or fiery parts, or tender-hearted gentle parts that have gone into hiding?
If so, take your time restoring inner connection, simply noting how risky it’s been for these parts to come into view. Perhaps even appreciating that you’ve successfully safe-guarded these parts until your conditions allowed for a safer coming out.
And whenever it feels tolerable, have fun patiently welcoming such parts into your life, exploring where and with whom more of you can be known.
In addition to feeling more alive, you might also come to feel that the loneliness that has been a constant companion, has finally settled.
Feeling Lonely
