When we’re in pain, we just want it to stop. Makes sense. But if we get caught up in our defense against pain, the causes are likely to remain murky.
#BuddhistPsychology encourages us to slow down when we’re going through anything painful. More often than not, we might be tempted to react against our experience of pain, but will then likely find ourselves dealing with suffering. In this way, #BuddhistTeachings distinguish pain as an unavoidable part of life, while suffering is optional. In other words, when we become reactive against pain, suffering will ensue.
The alternative involves seeing if it’s possible to tolerate painful times, and then slowly use this tolerance to segue into curiosity and #compassion. There are so many things that cause us pain – losing a loved on; feeling abandoned; feeling betrayed. Or finding yourself coping with circumstances that cause too much upheaval and sudden change.
But we are all endowed with the ability to mindfully examine what we’re going through, so that we’re less likely to get caught up in cycles of reactivity. It’s not easy and it does take time to develop this receptive and non-reactive way of navigating life. But the benefits are surprising. Even our most painful moments can reinforce trust in ourselves to cope and recover with equanimity.
The next time you notice yourself becoming reactive, take a few moments to just observe without judgment. What are you trying to protect yourself from? What are you needing? You might be surprised by what you discover!
