As a psychotherapist, I have come to appreciate the courage involved when we turn toward suffering.
It is not easy to revisit experiences that may have radically altered our sense of self or the world we inhabit. Fears of getting lost in the memories of a time we may have hoped to forget can loom large.
But when we avoid this inward-looking process, peering into the well of our psyche and history, we’re vulnerable to getting caught in temporary distractions and fleeting sources of pleasure. Anxiety can proliferate and rumination can take over. More importantly, the suffering will go untended to, perhaps finding new forms that require yet more distraction.
We get to take our time if we’re willing to do the challenging work of noticing how we carry our history. Slowly, patiently, we can learn more about how we might unconsciously enact what we’ve lived through with others, looking for opportunities to replay what the psyche is trying to help us see.
Personal healing is ultimately an ethical act. When we care for our own mind with integrity, we will nurture compassion for self and others.
Psychic muscles will grow stronger that can withstand seeing more of our own shadow. And when this happens, even if our external conditions remain unchanged, our minds will be freer to simply tend to what arises, sensing that our suffering warrants a tender response, a feeling of being held with respect for the extraordinary challenge of being human.
Noticing How We Suffer Is a Noble Endeavor
